it has indeed been a while. today i was forced to reconsider my life as i realised that art may in fact not be the path for me. but if not art, then what?? i am stuck in the proverbial rut. i'm on an art course at the moment but considering jacking it all in, it's simply not working - i'm not producing anything i'm proud of and i can't work out if it's because i don't like college, i'm not trying hard enough or it's just a bad time.
On a plus side i now have two jobs - i am a barmaid and i work on the food counters in a supermarket. Which is kind of fun, a lot better than i expected. My manager is a real charmer and everyone is really nice.
i am considering taking up meditation but i don't really know what to do or when to do it - first thing in the morning or last thing at night? or both? i just feel i need a break from people. i've made some friends at college but it's not great. they just aren't really filling the hole left by my old friends and life is just not that fun anymore. I don't know what to do or even what i want to do...aaaaaaaarghghghg
i'm just bored. with everything. which is kind of sad because i'm only 18. what should i do with my life????
